Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Randomize
