I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
