I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
