this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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