upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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