hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
