Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
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