RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
