he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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