I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
The power of my boobs compel you
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize