Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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