why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Girls should come with a carfax report
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Randomize
