New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
All I want is dick and wine.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
