i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize