I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
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