Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
