Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
