you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Randomize
