yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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