Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
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