I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
