just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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