sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
