Ambien. No doubt about it.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
