wake up i wanna do it froggy style
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
