What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
