I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
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