He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
