I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
