Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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