You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
