a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
