garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
