So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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