Is it normal to miss your booty call?
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
You ate ashes out of my bong
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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