and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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