Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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