Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
