so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize