New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
