He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
