There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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