Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
