Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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