it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
