We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
then he tried to convert me to islam
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
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