She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
