I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize
