turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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