Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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