My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
