If i come over, it means nothing
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
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