I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I want a musical about memes.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
