69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
