Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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