I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
i think i have two assholes
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
