I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
