Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize