i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
