Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
