is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
