All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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