I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
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