I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
