When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
