Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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