In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
There's always time for handjobs
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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