I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
