So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
